Guys just don't get why women…..

Ask us questions we have no good answer to.

-Do I look fat in these jeans? (The truth: yes)
-How does my hair look?  (The Truth: A birds nest on uppers)

But to answer truthfully, is the equivalent of a capital offense! So we answer NO, like a good supportive partner does. And we get this response.
"Great, I can't even count on you to be honest with me!"

Ask us to clean up after ourselves, but then don't give us time to do it.

OK, so we move a little more slowly than you'd like. That's fair. But that doesn't mean we don't intend to do it. Give us time. It's one of the few things we need to build momentum for.

Leave out important information.

While growing up our mothers would yell at us to put the toilet seat up. Obviously this was for a good reason. Little boys have notoriously bad aim. (Except when throwing snow balls. But we digress!) So we tried as hard as little boys can try.
Years later, our girlfriends told us to put the seat down!! Then we were totally confused. Should we believe our mothers or our girlfriends?? It wasn't until years later that we figured it out.
The toilet seat goes up. We pee. Toilet seat goes down.
Yes, we're dense. Please say exactly what you mean and you'll be happier with us.

Tell us we can call and then don't answer. Ever!

We know we can be pests. But we're literal beings. If you tell us we can call then you're telling us you'll answer….and that we have a chance.
We realize this is an easy way to blow us off, but a good old fashioned, "NO" is preferable. Our fragile egos are like the Planaria heads we used to cut off in science class. Somehow they keep growing back!

Want their own space, but get upset if we go out with our buddies.

We know you want to be independent. You want ladies night out, to hang with your friends, see a chick flick and talk relationships. But if we use that same night to go out with our buddies, somehow that never seems to sit right with you. Often we're doing exactly what you're doing. And god forbid we go out on a night you're home alone. We hear, "Do you like hanging out with your friends more than me?"

(Married Women Who Want to Be Home with The Kids) Wish we made more money, but get annoyed that we're never home.

The two are usually mutually exclusive. To have more money, means we're home less. It means we have to take a job that requires travel. Or requires us to leave at 6am and get home at 8pm, tired and grumpy. Otherwise, we're around more and have more time to spend with the family. What should we do? Please advise.

Like cats so much.

Especially because your cats don't like us. And sometimes you choose your cats over us? Why?? We can be trained to go potty in a box too!

Want us to be nice, but not really.

All we ever hear from our single girlfriends is, "We just want to meet a nice guy." Then when they meet a nice guy, they say he's too nice. What's the deal? 

Want us to help, but then get upset when we offer.

Here's the conversation we have with you:
You, "Boy what a pain this is. I can't stand painting."
Us, "Do you want us to help?"
You, "What, do you think I'm not capable of painting?!"
Us, "But you just said……forget it."

(We're counting on our female readers to enlighten our male readers.
Please leave us a comment or answer some of these confusing

This post was inspired by a friend: who posted the Top Ten rules for GUYS. Check it out.


17 Comments on Guys just don't get why women…..

  1. The nice but not too nice thing relates to two things. First, too nice guys usually are mama’s boys. We want you to love your mom, but not love-love your mom. Plus, we know that means we’ll always come second, and your mom will probably be the MIL from Hell. Second, it’s the whole bad boy thing. In theory, the bad boy is hot. In reality, he could land you in jail.
    Have you ever gone to the bathroom in the middle of the night, left the light off, and fallen in? If you had, you’d understand the whole toilet seat thing.
    I don’t know what to tell you about cleaning or the cats. I’m a slow cleaner myself. I tend to find lots of reasons not to clean, and I prefer dogs to cats.

  2. You guys always make me laugh! Love it and thanks for the link love! You guys ROCK!

  3. Well, when we ask if we look fat in our jeans, it’s usually because we KNOW we look fat but want your approval anyway.
    Nights out: When women have a girl’s night out, it’s often boring. When guys have a night out, they have fun so we’re jealous. Men are far more interesting to be around. Maybe you could off-set this with a date-night out with your spouse. Anyway, when she asks if you had a good time with the guys, give her an answer she will like. “Aw, no, it was boring and I missed you,” or “I never have as much fun when you’re not there.” Maybe she won’t feel so threatened and you can have a rockin’ time! No cheating, though. That’s a no-no.

  4. “Want us to help, but then get upset when we offer.”
    Most of the time women aren’t searching for a solution to their problems, they just want someone to listen to them.

  5. Ask us questions we have no good answer to – The correct answer is a smack on our butt or a sensual embrace with a little poke. You see we don’t want to know what we look like, we want to know that we still turn you on.
    Ask us to clean up after ourselves, but then don’t give us time to do it – Obviously you haven’t watched your child doing chores. Sorry GUYS but you just trigger our mommy senses and we know that in the end we’ll end up doing it ourselves.
    Leave out important information – Now see this is when we give you credit for being the logical beings you claim to be. Our bad.
    Tell us we can call and then don’t answer. Ever! – We tell you we’re involved, you tell us you’re better. We say no thanks and walk away, you follow and enthrall us with what we’ll be missing. We take a new route to work in order to avoid you, you’re waiting at our desk with a hot cup of coffee. The more we run the harder you chase, but if we feign surrender you give us a bit of peace.
    Keep em coming GUYS, you’re just too precious.

  6. You can do what the husband does if I make the mistake of asking about looking fat in these jeans–he puts on a robot voice, and says “YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE THAT EVER LIVED. YOU NEVER LOOK FAT IN ANYTHING. YOU ARE PERFECT.” One point to the husband.
    But really, that question should be retired between men and women who are sleeping together. It never goes well. That’s why a woman has girlfriends–my BFF will tell me if my ass looks big.

  7. So funny.
    I have no reasonings behind any of these. Some apply to me, some don’t πŸ™‚
    Oh, wait, I do have one. The questions that have no good answers: Usually, a guy’s face says everything! We can tell when you think we look good πŸ˜‰ So, it’s quite easy to catch you in a lie!

  8. Guys, no one likes falling into the loo in the middle of the night – hence put the seat down or close the lid – better option. cats are cool but I think men like them as much as women; and neat, well that’s a person thing.

  9. Gosh we seem to be on the same wavelength in trying to explain each genders quirks and shortcomings.
    I actually addressed the quirky scenario of ‘do I look fat in these pants or are my boobs big enough in my recent post.
    No doubt that there is a definite communication failure between many couples. Women are highly sensitive and men tend to be a bit dense when it comes to understanding those sensitivities.
    I laughed at your example of the mother and girlfriend toilet seat dilemma.
    I think I side with men more or maybe understand them more because I grew up with 5 brothers and raised 3 sons and worked construction for 6 years.
    I definitely have a different take on why men are men and women are women.
    Thanks so much for the very truthful and humorous post πŸ™‚

  10. I wish I could get my wife to read this post. I always suffer with these same issues. πŸ™‚

  11. “Do I look fat in these jeans?”
    GUYS: Women want the real answer from a GUY – our girlfriends sometimes are secretly happy when they think they look better than us. But when you are walking down the street and a GUY checks you out? Well honey, that makes our day!
    Your advice is key!

  12. Had to laugh at the falling in cuz the toilet seat was left up through the night … unfortunately so true … it really IS unpleasant, at least the porcelain or water if your unlucky enough to hit it is usually cold enough to startle you back out of it.
    My ex told me the house rules when I first got to stay at his place “Right … the toilet seat has to be put up after every use .. its a man house” (a bloody spotless one at that) – good twist I thought, and yes when I left the toilet seat down he made comment …. I found that quite annoying after a while to be honest …probably because I dont care which way the seat is just make sure the door is shut while your in there!
    As for the rest hmmmm…. never been able to relate to women who are like you describe above but see them everywhere. Often wonder if all that whinging and bitching is what actually keeps you guys coming back for more cuz when you get a girl who gives you your nights with the mates – no jealousy, never badgers you with insecure questioning, even enjoys hearing about the fun you had with the boys even while shes been at home alone and who can have just as much fun (and Im not talking flirty fun) with you and your boys as she does with her girls you stop chasing and never seem to hang around for very long. I dont know …. reading this just makes me think Im seriosuly missing something in this whole dating and relationship game, makes me feel like I need to put on 40 kilos, become insecure, start asking how fat I look in these jeans and gain other bitchy attitudes to stand half a chance at keeping one of you coming back for more.
    All I can say Guys is keep up the great work… Im loving your blog!

  13. I had to chuckle through many of these. They are quite true.
    The next question in our video blog series discusses the nice guy/bad boy issue, but I’ll dish a little here. I think that when women say a guy is too nice they mean that he seems like a pushover. Of course a lot of guys that aren’t pushovers get tossed into this category and get overlooked (until a woman who knows how to spot ’em scoops him up.)
    The stay at home mom and husband always working is a tough one. I have to shut my mouth about this one quite often. I usually ask myself if what I am about to say adds any value to the situation or if I am just talking to vent. If I answer “no” to the first and yes to the second, then I try not to say it. Needless to say I speak less frequently now than in the early years of our marriage, but I can assure you that those comments are not missed.

  14. Love the list!! The first part reminds me of a Friends episode where this questions was raised, but points out guys lie to:
    Girl “does this dress make me look fat?”
    Guy “No”
    Guy “does size matter?”
    Girl “No”
    Also yeah….. some guys are just to nice. Got to have a happy medium πŸ™‚

  15. I love the guys’ point of view. I’m married 44years and still don’t know what my husband will say:) I think how men react has a lot to do if you are full or hungry, horny or satisfied, comfy or uncomfortable! Yes, it all depends on physical things. Whereas a woman most times excluding that time of the month will give a more honest answer. If you ask a woman if you look fat she will either redirect your attention or suggest a different outfit. That’s why when you get two women together it takes longer to get dressed!
    So tell me why men get angry when you give themanother way to do something. Women like tolearn new ways to do things:)

  16. This is going to be a long comment.
    Ok, first, instead of saying, “Yes, you look fat” try saying “You know, I really like your black jeans better, they make you look so sexy.” Of course, she might say, “Are you saying I look fat in these?” But you just can’t win with some women. I’ve been saying it for years, some women are crazy and you just can’t please them.
    Also, I have to admit sometimes we just want you to lie to us, just like you want us to lie to you when you ask, ‘Does size matter?’ You just have to learn to pay attention to us enough to know when we want a lie and when we want gentle honesty.
    On the second one, it’s likely she’s been stewing over it for a while before she said anything about the mess so either talk to her and ask her to tell you as soon as it bothers her or get motivated faster. Cuz you see we think that you are waiting as an act of rebellion, a ‘I’ll get to it when I damn well please’ kinda thing.
    As to leaving out important information, we just assume you know that we want you to know things like put the seat up to pee then put it down. To us, it’s not important info, it’s info that’s a given and us girls are going, how hard is it to figure this out? I’m not sure what advice to give you on this one other than to try to be less dense. (sorry, I luv ya) Or tell us upfront how dense you guys are and ask us to please explain things to you fully.
    Why do some women get upset when you go out with your buddies? Partly that could be because who your buddies are. If the other Guys are always wanting to get drunk and go to the strip club, that could be part of it. Especially if it’s your single buds. And if you’re not going to the strip club, if you’re going out with your single friends, that may be what she fears you will do. Personally, I love to have me some time to myself so I’ve never understood why women get upset about this one.
    As far as the money thing, I’m not sure what to tell you. I’d much rather have my man home than have tons of money and lots of things, so that’s a no brainer for me.
    I don’t know why we like cats so much. I have two. Can’t explain it.
    Wanting you to be nice but not really. Two reasons on this. One, some women have low self esteem and don’t feel they deserve a nice guy so they always choose the jerk. Two, we want our guys to be nice but not groveling. We want a nice guy with a backbone. The only guy I’ve ever rejected for being too nice had no backbone and wanted a girl who would walk all over him. Probably same issue as the girls picking jerks, low self esteem.
    I very truly cannot answer the last one. Anytime my past guys have offered me help I’ve willingly taken it. I wouldn’t have complained about it in the first place if I didn’t want the help.
    Hope that helps in some small way.
    Oh, and I have one question for you Guys. Why is it that you can always seem to get your dish to the counter on top of the dishwasher, but you can never seem to get it into the dishwasher? I mean when you’re at the counter, you’re almost there, why not go all the way?

  17. This is delightful. πŸ™‚ Okay yes, I have to admit there is an element of truth to it – not necessarily all applies to me, though.
    When I ask hubby some questions, I do honestly want an honest answer because I am a type of person who wants to deal with problem zones and immediately. In my younger days, I don’t think I would have appreciated my guy telling me my butt looks too big in my jeans. I guess I have matured and nowadays, I could laugh at my silliness. I appreciate honesty and straighforwardness. I am pretty direct person and what you see from me is pretty much what you’ll get. (That’s how hubby describes me) And also both of us are quite independent and we encourage each other to thrive in our individual interests.
    At the end of the day, the longer you live with your partner, the same wavelenght both of you will have. You will have a better understanding of each others needs and wants.(That’s if you’re willing to understand!)

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