My guy hugs other women a lot; should I be concerned?

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Dear Guys,

I don’t know if it’s me or my guy. But every time we got out and meet friends, or even new people, my guy seems to hug the women, but not the men. Is this his way of getting a little thrill, or is this normal behavior?

I don’t want to start complaining if this is my issue, but something doesn’t quite seem “right” about this.

What’s your opinion?


Dear Rebecca,

Hugging in and of itself should not be the focus of your concern. Some people are more touchy than others. Some people are more “huggy” than others. Comfort with touching spans a wide range.

A few questions we’d ask you before we answer your question:

  1. How is your relationship? Are things good? Do you connect regularly? Emotionally? Intellectually? Physically?
  2. How’s your sex life? Are you both satisfied?
  3. Do you trust your guy? Do you feel that he is as into you as you are into him? Is he as committed as you?
  4. Is he touchy with you? Is he comfortable with PDA with you?

The answers to these questions will likely give you enough info to answer your initial question. Meaning, it’s not that he’s hugging women, it’s WHY he’s hugging women that you’re wondering about. Correct?

So a few things to observe. How long are these hugs for? Does he get in real close or is it just a quick hug? And what is the woman’s reaction to the hug? (Her reaction will tell a lot about how appropriate the hug is.) Does the hug seem casual, or do you get some sort of odd “feeling” from it?

Our guess is, if your relationship is solid, and there are no red-flags, then your guy falls into the “touchy” camp and hugging is probably just something he does when he greets people/women. If this is the case, he probably learned this early on from observing his parents or possibly older siblings. So, in general, we wouldn’t worry about it too much, unless you don’t like the answers to some of the questions we asked.

If that’s the case, then his hugging of other women will likely fall to the background as you sort through some bigger issues.

Let us know if you have any follow-up questions.


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