My cyber-sex relationship; will this go anywhere? (Sex Advice)

Hi Guys,

I met a guy on a dating site and we talk on the phone and text every day. At least once or twice a week we video chat. And yes, we have had “cyber sex” twice. He has told me that he likes me A LOT and I feel the same about him. I deleted my account on the dating site, but he has not. He is on there everyday and tells me he is there to look at the pictures and read the forums. I told him that with all the time we have spent together, that it doesn’t make me feel very special knowing that he is still “out there.” He tells me that I should go with the flow, and that I shouldnt be so sensitive. I really like him and enjoy talking to him, but I wonder if I am just wasting my time. I want something real, a relationship. I dont want to have a cyber relationship. He jokes around about coming to see me, but it’s only when we are talking about sex. My question is, should I end it? How do I know if he is serious?

Thanks alot

Dear Kim,

Thanks for your question.

We can see why you’re concerned. It is pretty insensitive of him to tell you to “go with the flow.” We wonder how he’d feel if things were reversed and you were the one perusing dating sites, flirting, and checking out pictures. (If that’s all he’s really doing, which we doubt.) What he should have done is agreed with you, apologized, and taken his profile down. Since he hasn’t done that, and has no plans to do it, it’s pretty clear what he’s up to.

Talk is cheap, especially when a guy is horny. If he was serious about having a relationship with you he would have already talked about seeing you, and then followed up his talk with action. He hasn’t. So our take is that he enjoys meeting people online, flirting, and having “cyber sex,” but he’s not looking to move this or any of these “relationships” he’s having online, to the real world. This is his thing. And his behavior and nonchalant attitude towards your concerns proves that he’s content to keep things in the fantasy world.

We think you’re wasting your time with this guy. Chalk this up to experience and move on. And consider yourself lucky. This could have easily been a situation where you met this guy in person, had actual sex a few times, and then realized he was doing the same thing with a bunch of other women. Not only would that be emotionally devastating, but it could have put your health at risk as well.

So we think it’s best to move on and try to find a nice guy you can actually go out with. Also, in the future, we’d refrain from the “cyber-sex” until you’ve actually established a relationship rooted in reality.

Feel free to ask as many follow-up questions as you’d like. And keep us posted. We also hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Thanks. We appreciate it.

Take care,


2 Comments on My cyber-sex relationship; will this go anywhere? (Sex Advice)

  1. I know this guy 3 years so far. So with that guy at the past we were talking a lot on msn but never met each other face to face ( i saw him before we talk ). He was the first guy i fell in love so hard . I was so in love with him. We were watching each other via cam ,texting and talking about sex things all the time. The bad thing it was because i was so in love with him i was doing everything he was asking. He was telling me to put fingers but i never put i just saying that i was putting and we were making sex texting. One day this stopped because we argued for something but he was still talking to me sometimes via msn but only on msn even if we are friends on facebook. So this summer he started talk to me everyday on msn. I wasn’t even want him ,i forgot him but for 3 months we were talking everyday about advice for me , about his girlfriend who he has one year relationship and he told me that he changed and he really loved her .So almost all of ours conversations the theme was about sex and sometimes about things about my self but always we were lead to sex things.So then on these 3 months he made me fall in love with him again. I know that is bad that he has a girlfriend but i always telling him that i was feeling bad for his girlfriend because she is a really good girl.So one day he was telling me that we have to meet face to face so he can watch me after all this time and also he can give me some advice about men. So i wasn’t about to accept but for 2 times we arrange to meet.. at the time we were about to meet he was canceling it. So i said to my self to not accept again to meet him. Then we were keep talking about such things and then the things become worse for me. He showed me his dick via cam but i didn’t know that he was going to do it and i liked his dick and then we started to do sex texting and i was putting fingers in real and i was enjoying his messages . Again he was telling me that we should meet and i can watch his dick from close and give him a blow job. I wasn’t really sure abo!
    ut it bu
    t because i really wanted to saw him i accepted . But we argued about something and we cancelled it. I was relief that i didn’t go but now he is keeping texting me on msn about sex and about fucking me but i don’t want to lose my virginity at all. So he is keep saying me about blowjob.But i really like his dick but i know this is wrong and i should not meet him. The last time he said me to think about it about day and hour to arrange. I don’t know what to do because i love him. Just to mention that he only get in msn just to talk to me and then when he we end our conversation he is getting off and even he is saying me that he is all day on msn but he is just get in to talk to me .Please answer me about it. I know that it is a long message but i really want advice about it .
    Also sorry if i made mistakes . I am foreigner.

  2. @Appollon….We left you a response on the post: Online Cheating.

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