I’m still a virgin (in high school) and I’m starting to get really close to this one guy. We don’t really talk about sex or anything yet, but I think I’m ready for it. I think I’ve been ready, even before he came along. What changes after you lose your virginity? How do you know when you’re ready and he’s ready?
Thanks for your question.
Part of being ready for any big event in your life is knowing it in your gut. You say you’ve felt ready for a while so that’s probably a good sign. The most important thing for any big decision is to know it’s your choice. You never want to feel pressured into doing anything you’re not comfortable doing. We’re not just talking sex; we’re talking anything, big, small, it doesn’t matter.
Some people lose their virginity in their teens and some don’t until their twenties. Some people don’t believe in pre-marital sex, so they want until they tie the knot. Much of this has to do with your values and the way you were brought up. Obviously, you’re comfortable with the idea of sex, so you’ve probably been brought up in a liberal household. What we’re saying is there’s no ONE right answer.
A lot of what we’ve said has to do with you, but part of taking this step is how you feel about your partner. We can’t tell you how many people have written to us and said, “I can’t believe I let that lame person take my virginity.” They’re not saying they were pressured, they’re saying they thought the person was amazing and they turned out to be the opposite. So are you prepared for that? If this relationship doesn’t work out, will you be okay with losing your virginity? We hate to frame it like that, but that’s a question you need to ask yourself.
Bottom line: You need to know WHY you want to lose your virginity? Do you feel ready and just want to do it? Is it because of this guy? Is it because you’re so in love that you want to experience this with him? What exactly is it? Once you figure that out, you’ll know better how you want to proceed.
As far as changes you’ll be feeling. Well, sex is very powerful. You’ll have experienced it for the first time and that will change the lens that you see the world. In essence, you’ll lose some of your innocence. (Once again, a generalization, but you asked.) This is a complex topic, and every person has an opinion, and a different answer. Ultimately this is your decision. If you do decide to proceed forward, please be careful and take the necessary precautions that they teach you about in school. Let us know if you have any follow-up questions. (Leave in comments’ section below.) And please share our site with friends, or on Facebook, Twitter. We appreciate it.
Questions about high school dating and/or questions about virginity: